Thought For Manchester

Overnight it all changed for our friends up north, this morning all we can do is wish them well.

There is really nothing to write that you can’t find on any news site in the UK, but we feel we need to share the horrific news about our favourite party city in the country. Greater Manchester along with parts of East Lancashire, West Yorkshire and Leicester got knee capped last night by the government (for the sake of ease we will be referring to Manchester in this article, we mean all affected).

Matt Hancock, the shandy to the prime ministers hand, announced the shutdowns a few hours ago thanks to a surge in coronavirus cases due largely to people ‘not abiding to social distancing’.

The new rules mean that bars, pubs and restaurants can stay open but they can only have people from the same household on the same table. How the fuck they expect this to be managed and what happens if a venue is found out to be in violation of this rule is as clear as Boris’ urine sample.

Fear not though they have issued guidance which goes ‘If you run such a business, you should take steps to ensure people do not interact with people they do not live with, in line with Covid-19 Secure guidance.’

We know this is a little vague so let’s try to translate for you ‘Hey hospitality industry would you mind awfully kneeling down just there so I can relieve my bladder on you?’

The decision is hard to argue with, the stats show a spike in recent days in the area and the government are reacting. Allowing bars to stay open with new restrictions is, in our humble opinion, an experiment they were waiting to try out. Whether it works remains to be seen, the bigger issue is whether it is sustainable for venues to survive with yet another restriction in place.

Even if venues basically ignore the new restrictions and assume people are following the rules themselves there is bound to be a drop in numbers in general. A situation most places cannot exist with.

Then there is the issue of enforcing the rules. No one wants a full lockdown and anything that can be done to avoid this must be done. The problem is there are certain venues, for the sake of this article let’s call them Wetherspoons, who won’t follow the rules. They will drop their prices, bend over and let anyone enter.

If there is somewhere to go to then people will choose it, those following the rules will lose out. This is why the government needs to come up with rules that can be enforced, rather than punishing the people/venues that do the right thing.

Finally, and most toe curlingly angering is the way the announcement was made. On Twitter, at close to midnight. FUCK OFF.

Can you for one second imagine the government announcing it was imposing new heavy restrictions on London via Twitter? It is hard to imagine a more cowardly act than the one made by the ‘powers that be’ 10 hours ago. I have done things in my toilet with more backbone than the jizz sock that calls himself Prime Minister.

In short Manchester (and surrounding areas) we are thinking of you. A world without your bars is a world without fun.

If you read this and know someone up that way send them a quick message and tell them to go have drink or three. You probably forgot their last birthday so maybe chuck them a couple of quid to spend when they are out.