CON: European Bartender Really Into Flair


Management at onomatopoeia-themed speakeasy, Glug, have begun disciplinary proceedings against their newest hire after it emerged he is really into flair.

The bartender, who cannot be named for legal reasons, graduated from the European Bartender School and Stanislav Vadrna’s Passion In Serving Spirits (PISS) Academy in 2022. He is accused of failing to disclose flairtending on his CV, and keeping his predilections secret until the successful conclusion of the bar’s three month probationary period.

Glug’s general manager, Lola Bonsoir, told CON: “It’s been a shock to us all to be honest. He seemed so nice. Bit intense but, you know, normal. All that changed after probation. It started slowly, twirling the barspoon between his fingers and doing that thing where you spin the tin on the palm of your hand. Not ideal, obviously, but you have to let people be themselves to a certain extent. Then one night I popped in to drop off some change. There was Ibiza Chill blaring out of the speakers and he was behind the bar flairing. Actually flairing, throwing bottles around, vogueing, the whole thing. The guests were horrified. Imagine if an influencer had been in? I would have suspended him on the spot but none of the other bartenders were answering their phones, and I don’t really do shifts any more, because of my back.”

In a since-deleted Facebook post, the now-suspended bartender said:

“I am a bar chef. I am a mixologist. I am an entertainer. The spirit of Ichi-go ichi-e lives within me, it is what gives a bartender their power. It’s an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us and penetrates us. It binds the galaxy together.”

Legal proceedings continue.