LONDON, CENTRAL
At 3:00pm BST on Friday, August 18th, brand ambassador Bryony Housecoat fell victim to the realisation she is actually just a glorified sales rep.
Housecoat, whose business card reads Global Brand Ambassador – Colonel Archibald’s Hemlock Gin Infusion, recounted the experience to CON: “I was standing on the platform at Baker Street Station, making a mental note to buy some E45 cream for my shoulders, carrying a rucksack full of bottles is murder on your shoulders, when it suddenly hit me. I actually said ‘hang on a minute’ out loud. I’m a fucking sales rep, not a brand ambassador. My expenses card is a Monzo pre-pay, and I haven’t been on ANY trips. I got more weekends off when I was a bartender, and the ONLY thing my boss ever says to me is ‘have you sold anything yet?’. This isn’t what I signed up for.”
“It’s exactly what she signed up for.” Said Housecoat’s boss and brand owner Tristan Archibald, when approached for comment, adding “Did she say if she’s sold anything yet?”.
Housecoat has, in fact, not sold anything yet.
