Hospitality Not To Re-Open On 22nd June

The latest government daily briefing has confirmed that pubs, bars and restaurants will NOT be opening on 22nd June.

What should come as no surprise to anyone is that a series of baseless articles and social media rumours have been confirmed to be complete bullshit by the world’s most boring man Alok Sharma at the Downing Street Briefing.

Thankfully this news was early enough in his speech that I had yet to slip into a coma, although it appears muting him is only partially effective as I have lost all feeling in my legs.

The government’s plans on re-opening the hospitality industry remains unmoved, being the 4th July at the earliest. Although when pressed on the 3 week notice period for the hospitality industry (being this Saturday for opening on July 4th) he responded by saying ‘We are curr…………….

Sorry drifted off again. Basically, they are working on a plan to give us information on this but won’t give us a date.

All other questions about the information we want such as ‘What is the R rate needed to reopen hospitality?’ and ‘What about reducing the 2m social distancing to 1m?’ the answer was we are reviewing and we will be producing a report at some point in the future. Wankers.

That is all the news from today’s briefing, that news basically being don’t listen to rumours and get excited by stories without firm base in fact. Also don’t count sheep, count Sharmas.