After a tricky first season the industry cricket team sponsored by El Dorado Rum known as BarLifeCC is back for revenge.
Last year BarLifeUK decided to prove that the misconception that everyone in our industry is out of shape, pasty and sportingly challenged was wrong. As it turned out we did the mirror opposite and proved it 100% correct.
Entering the London Last Man Stands Cricket League, after a couple of net sessions which saw bowling of such speed and power batting of such ferocity that we broke three bats, there was talk of winning our league. After 7 games and 7 losses we were over the moon when we were told we were the most ‘fun’ team in the league (small victories!).
We certainly looked the part. Warm up catching sessions prior to every game, matching kit and caps for each member of the squad courtesy of our team sponsor El Dorado Rum.
That was until we took to the field. Here are a few examples of our incompetence over the season:
Game 1 saw Stu ‘Teflon’ Hudson take a rather special catch only for a pack of cigarettes to fall out of his top pocket leading the umpire to think he had dropped the ball
Andy ‘Fingers’ Ives was unable to keep wicket after practice sessions saw his fingers swell to such a size his couldn’t put the gloves on
James ‘Youth Box’ Wynn-Williams managed to run someone out using his right moob after falling over
Simon ‘Captain my Captain’ Webster ran three people out in 6 innings by being shit
Joe ‘The Stokoe’ Stokoe invented a new type of delivery named ‘The Stokoe’ which not only fails to bounce but also manages to clear the batsman’s head
Ciaran ‘Duck’ McNicholas was carted off to hospital in the second over of his first game with a ball in his eye-socket after failing to catch the ball
Ed ‘Receding’ McAvoy managed to get out in the first game off the same ball as his opening partner. Yep one ball bowled and two wickets lost!
But let’s not dwell entirely on the negatives, there were some plus sides too. These were usually fuelled by the bottle of El Dorado rum, which was donated to each game to keep our spirits up:
Adam ‘Freddy’ Seidman, Barry ‘The Machine’ Halstead and Paul ‘No Helmut Will Fit’ Williams reached 50’s which saw them forced to retire before returning later in the innings
Tim ‘I Was Vice Captain’ Homewood teaming up with Dub Dub to form an unstoppable stumping partnership
Pre-game Daiquiri’s on the last game of the season
Our umpire was called Harsh
This year we are back. We are improved. We are experienced. We are going to win a game damn it!
The good news is El Dorado are back on board so win or lose we get rum each game. The better news is our league this year contains lots of teams who haven’t played before.
Now it’s time for the call out. Do you work in the industry? Are you free some Monday or Tuesday nights? Can you hold a bat the right way up/throw a ball more than 10 yards/run more than 12 yards? Fancy a game?
Also any other UK city got an industry cricket team and fancy a game? Get in touch.
If so please email firstname.lastname@example.org and hopefully we’ll see you on the wicket. We are also after supporters (ideally cheerleaders) to help us celebrate our wins.