Funkin founder launches ‘stylish alternative to alcohol’ range
According to the most soul-sucking press release to cross the BarLifeUK desk in years, Stryyk should be pronounced ‘strike’. This is because the new zero-proof distillate range from Funkin founder Alex Carlton is designed to allow bartenders to ‘strike’ the spirit out of a classic cocktail, and render it booze free.
See what they did there?
According to the press release, which appears to have come from the office of Nathan Barley, Stryyk is aimed at ‘Gen Xers who want to mix up their night’.
“Stryyk is making sobriety acceptable, simple and not anti-social. With the new generation of party-goers choosing to drink less alcohol and sometimes none at all, Stryyk offers a zero-proof spirit which enables them to enjoy the drinks they love and stay in the moment, without compromising on taste, experience or calories. As we like to say, Stryyk has all of the spirit, none of the alcohol.”
The Stryyk range comes to market in two varieties with the smart and edgy names: Not Gin, and Not Rum.
“Stryyk Not Gin combines juniper, rosemary and basil and Stryyk Not Rum features clove, oakwood and grapefruit. Both variants are 100% natural with no sugar, no fat, no carbs and no artificial flavours.”
Brand ambassador Tom Soden says of the liquids: “Previously dry and tannic flavour profiles have been neglected within the non-alcohol sector and this is where Stryyk shines. The ability to provide intense flavours in shorter serve styles opens up exciting options for non-alcoholic drinks. Personally I also enjoy Stryyk neat over ice with a lemon twist.”
I can’t think of a funny closing paragraph for this piece because the mental image of marketing execs high-fiving each other as they come up with ‘all of the spirit, none of the alcohol’ has robbed me of the will to live.